H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

Your encouragement means so much to me, folks. This is like a lifeline that stops me from going down the path that I know I'd be going down right now without this support <shudder>.

I was recommended to read "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It". I found that a lot of my responses in our separation and before seemed to make a lot more sense as I read it.

Thanks for the book recommendation OTMT. It sounds really interesting! In a review about that book, I read:

# The worst thing women do in their relationships to men is to shame them in many little (and sometimes larger) ways — correct them, make plans without consulting them, etc.

I think I did that all the time . A lot of it was actually well-intentioned, but it's starting to crystallize for me how much this damaged our M.

# The worst thing men do in their relationships is to leave their wives “married but alone” — failing to include their wives in their activities and decision-making.

That definitely was going on for a loooong time before our separation .

I've known for a long time that H was unhappy in our M, but I felt helpless to do anything about it because he wasn't willing to work on things the way that I wanted to, and he didn't seem to have ideas of his own about it, other than basically expecting me to walk on eggshells around him which wasn't that realistic. Then failed MC basically reinforced the sense of despair that we both felt. I was trying to renew myself before the separation, but not making a huge amount of progress.