Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

This another one of those tricky questions. How do you show her any changes (180's) in you when tough love is on-going (keeping minimum contact and distance).

It might be helpful to better uderstand the 180's or the changes you are working on (without invading your privacy) and then maybe we can all figure out a plan of attack for your sitch.

Being confident, happy and friendly even during just the kid exchanges wil show her alot...I am learning consisteny is vital for all of this.

I feel like I tried the really friendly route and then the FB/Bar thing was in my face, and I feel like she was cake eating which could have gone on until D day.

The change is I dropped the rope completely, during the MC session. Told her it was over, and handed her my ring. Now I am trying to follow through a little better this week. Today at kid exchange I did not get out of car, she was about to and saw that I was not and she stayed in. I made sure S9 got into her car safely and I pulled away. She did not get out of car when she brought him home and I did not wave nor did I even look towards the car when I let S9 in the front door.

My fear or uncertainty is that this will be preceived as anger towards her. I second guess the smallest things such as waving goodbye or getting out of the car. It is that fine line again. If she wanted to see me she would have gotten out of the car. If she wanted to see me she would have walked my S9 up to the front door. It is not in my nature to be stand offish, or cold but if I do those things will she start to miss the interaction?? Or do I show her how nice I can be, but she knows how nice I can be. A 180 would be limited contact, a little cold, I guess I could have waved as he was coming in the house and it would have been fine. Maybe just some fine tuning in my approach. I know these are small things but I remember reading they are watching your every move.