Quote: think time tells us whether the battle we're fighting to regain what we've lost is a battle worth fighting or a lost cause. And WE have to be ready to handle that decision no matter which way it goes.
Quote: I still intend to 'search' for my own answers to make sure that my decision is what's best FOR ME and if I find in time that it was not, then I will be more honorable than my H was capable of being, and I will tell him that I am moving on....NOT to someone else, but for myself.
Deb, My dear and special friend, thank you for you kind words, they mean a great deal to me.
We have, a group of us, truly sheltered each other during the stormiest times of this journey. We have been here to give each other hope, REALITY (aka 2X4), and shared experience (wisdom). The toughest part of any friendship is telling a friend what they NEED to hear instead of always telling them what they WANT to hear, and we have done that.
There are many success stories on the horizon for members of this group and those successes will have been a TEAM effort. When necessary, we will carry each other on our backs to help one another to cross the finish line, and some will decline to take the 'lift' and choose to go it alone and maybe never see the "tape" that marks the completion of this marathon.
I look forward to sharing in that champaign with you, and I will NEVER forget the times we spent sitting on that damn curb outside the tunnel, sipping margaritas. T2
Thank you Pam AND please feel welcome to come and post YOUR wisdom to ME....the insights you share on your thread have been a help to me along the way. T2
Hi T2 ~ Your story about the cell phone sounds like it was a true turning point (not to mention the fact that H opened up about the AA person!). I see many happy year ahead of you TOGETHER!!!! I am so happy for you!
I, on the other hand, am headed in the other direction, but trying to DB 'til the very end. I know what you mean about being "calmer" now and I loved the tiger analogy!! I would love for you to visit me!! It's not over 'til its Over!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
I agree about the cell phone and letting you have access to his "other life". Yes, there is anonymity to keep in mind, but no reason to keep those lives separate. It's a "family disease" right?
One of the big reasons I kept coming back to this board is that we all learn from each other, including from each other's "mistakes" and bad days. There is also the factor that we can safely vent here and EVERYONE understands. Who else would really be able to relate?
(((((T2))))) I feel you, too, are holding MY hand. What an awesome couple of posts. Listening to you now, wow, have you grown. And unless we do, we are doomed. I am seeing the scared H, afraid that he will be my whipping boy, trying to find the courage and confidence to open up to me and quit holding me at arm's length. There is nothing I can do to hurry this along, except continue to be quiet, confident, understanding and loving. I know he is waiting for this tiger to pounce on him, and when I don't, he is so purplexed... he is testing me as well, to see if I am genuine, or just waiting for him to show his soft underparts. This is a dance, and I am reminded of telling you to reel your H in carefully like a fish. I'm not even sure if my H has taken the bait, yet... but I think maybe he has.
The reality is, we have no control over any of this, except our ability to change, grow and WAIT. Thank you for your guidance during all of this. Thank you for growing, and posting your growth. Your love for your H and your M is so obvious now, your posts are dripping with it! Thank you for that.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Yes, it seemed like a long time; sitting on that curb! LOL Looking back on all this, there were times when I wonder I I made it this far. Seems like a long time ago!
Quote: So I'll avoid going down the interstate, I'm taking the backroads. It might be slower getting there, but at least I have a better chance of getting there in one piece!
Hey Deb, I'm riding with you! And, I needed to hear this today!
You and T2 are awesome ladies. I hope to finish my "ride" with both of you waiting at the finish line. I'd rather have the 2x4's than "what I want to hear" the truth is so much better.
