The only contact I have had with him today was a TM regarding him coming to pick up hie clothes. I agreed that I wouldnt be here and asked that he doesn't bring anyone into my home. He stated he wouldn't and I left, Spent the whole day outside the home just getting home now. I believe he will contact me sometime next week, although I refuse to contact him. If he really wants to be with someone else then so be it. Athough I don't really want to be single. I found out tonight that my daughters 25 yr old friend thinks I an cute. Although that is wat too young for me and I wouldn't go there, still made me feel good. I am not ugly, am a size 0, I just dread the thought of being single again. I am going to wait this out and have a whole list of requirements if he ever wants to come back (I still Love him). I have this overwhelming desire to change my hair color, therefor change myself. I don't feel good enough. Still hurting and ashamed.
I'm afraid I have no good advice to give. But I can offer you support!
I am here going on 7 months of WAH for OW. OMG--I can't believe I just typed out 7 months. It has been long and hard, but each day is better.
For me, the best thing was keeping as busy busy busy as possible. Running helped an awful lot. It helps my mind, helped my body (down 30 pounds, but that was mostly not eating from anxiety in the first 2 months) and has helped to make a few new acquaintances.
I also went right to my doc for anti-d and anti-anxiety meds, which have helped a lot.
I, too, felt--maybe still feel a little?-ashamed. And maybe now I am getting angry enough to say--why should I feel ashamed? what have I done? He chose to start an affair and just end our R without so much as a how-do-you-do.
So I understand the ashamed feeling, but want to reassure you that will fade. You have done nothing wrong. You ARE good enough. You are BETTER than good enough.
Lean on your friends, and GAL all you can.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Avermont, Thanks, It is nice to feel that other people truly know what I am experiencing. I have been hanging out with my friends and family and not sitting in this house letting this drive me crazy. I am constantly telling myself that I only control me..It does make me feel better.
If you want to change your hair color, then go for it! But do it for you. If you don't like, you can always change it back and a little pampering at the salon for a cut and color might be just what you need!
This is the time to be extra good to yourself. Take care.
Mnt dreams, The hair color change is totally about me and something I have been contemplating doing for awhile.Even if I was still with WAH he wouldnt notice a change in color, that is not something he ever noticed. Hey I just realized I am in Co also.
Well I went and got my hair lightened today. My natural hair is pretty light so I had her go a couple shades lighter. After I did it I went over to my sisters and she told me it looked the same. I don't know where the emotion came from but all the sudden I just started crying and said I was looking for a change. She said you don't need to change. I guess I was looking for something drastic and It didn't happen.
I guess I have felt invisible for so long I wanted to do something that my WAH would notice. I don't know how I think that is going to happen as I haven't seen him in over a week and have only had TM in regards to Bills and The car.
I did find out he hasn't told his family anything as I spoke to his mom and she acted like he was still here and made no indication of knowing anything else. I didn't say anything as I don't think it is my place. I know she will be extremely upset as we are very close, but then again he is her son.
I'm afraid I have no good advice to give. But I can offer you support!
I am here going on 7 months of WAH for OW. OMG--I can't believe I just typed out 7 months. It has been long and hard, but each day is better.
For me, the best thing was keeping as busy busy busy as possible. Running helped an awful lot. It helps my mind, helped my body (down 30 pounds, but that was mostly not eating from anxiety in the first 2 months) and has helped to make a few new acquaintances.
I also went right to my doc for anti-d and anti-anxiety meds, which have helped a lot.
I, too, felt--maybe still feel a little?-ashamed. And maybe now I am getting angry enough to say--why should I feel ashamed? what have I done? He chose to start an affair and just end our R without so much as a how-do-you-do.
So I understand the ashamed feeling, but want to reassure you that will fade. You have done nothing wrong. You ARE good enough. You are BETTER than good enough.
Lean on your friends, and GAL all you can.
Aver. I still feel ashamed with certain groups of people. I know its ill-rational.
But I have cut out a few groups of mutural friends and I have stayed away from some gatherings with work people.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Myself and my daughter are going to have lunch with my MIL (this is something we do almost monthly). She does not know that my husband no longer lives with me. I do not want to be the person who tells her that, I feel he should be explaining this to his parents. I kind of feel I am being dishonest if I have lunch with her and don't tell her. We don't normally sit around and talk about him but I wonder how she will feel when she finds out and realizes I didn't tell her.
