Cie la vie, have you established your "distance" boundaries with your W. This just me, but I would. Let her know in a repsectful and confident manner what your expectations are. Do not give any reasons other than you just want your complete individualism back and contact with her does not allow for that. I told my W this and she seemd to respect it...kind of (read my new post for more info). Also, keep in mind this is just my approach and I am as full of it as the next guy, and going through the same crap you are.
