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[Gnosis]

I asked her tonite @ party she was kiinda reminiscing @ that conversation, I said "WOW You were mad."

She said " Believe it or not we never talked about you or us, he always talked about how bad his M was and he got me trapped. I felt sorry for him, but as I was pulling away he started talking about you. Last nite I thought about it and said to myself that was bullsh*t. I can't believe I fell for it what a piece of crap. God I can't believe I fell for it"

OK OB, it sounds promising. However there WILL be a fallout as OM withdrawal sinks in. She will lash out at you again. Be prepared for it.

You have told us what she has said... what have you been saying?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

It is imperative that you go for TOTAL TRANSPARENCY at this point. NOW is the time that it is done!!!

Have you discussed this?

Puppy

[Gnosis]

How are things going OB. Don't worry, our bark is worse than our bite!

[OnceBurdened]

Real Busy, S8's Hockey team played all weekend and won the darn thing today. Tournament Champs!

Lot's of family stuff, couples stuff with team parents , W tagged along not completely lovey dovey, she did spend a nite here that was VERY lovey dovey. I think she is trying - I'm not sure i'm feeling it now.

Yep - I'm not sure that I'm feeling it. I have looked at her a couple of times and thought - nope why do I want to put up with your sh*t?

Hadn't said it but it is kinda surprising to feel that way now. Maybe I did detacheth to much??

[OnceBurdened]

I actually did what I considered a jujitsu move @ transparency- " You know what I won't tolerate from you, If it happens you know I'll find out I'm done talking about it and wasting my time on it. If it happens you know the consequences, it's your decision."

[Gnosis]

I actually did what I considered a jujitsu move @ transparency- " You know what I won't tolerate from you, If it happens you know I'll find out I'm done talking about it and wasting my time on it. If it happens you know the consequences, it's your decision."

That ain't jujitsu... you wanna see jijitsu... watch how she comes back at you with a reply when she does. As far as consequences... why should she fear them? She's crossed your boundaries numerous times in the past and you've let her get away with it.

Can you tell us what's been going on since the meltdown?

[OnceBurdened]

Why ain't it jujitsu ? I'm sticking to the "It's your choice" and stopped pursuing her? She told him, I heard it now how hard a$$ do I need to be about it?

She has been around here- nowhere to go. Found out that they did not verify her employment. Which shows it was a premeditated firing. She did not have a lease house to go to.

She has been using the office to work on resume, job hunting. Just letting her get that part back on track. MIL was rushed to hospital on Monday, she is nearing the end of the battle with COPD.

I went out Saturday night, had a good time. And lot's of kids stuff. Kinda like an in home seperation. Not doing much together. Had an interlude one night but I think that was a spill over from emotional Friday. She has hugged me a couple of times but I'm not pursuing anything just watching where it goes.

[Gnosis]

Why ain't it jujitsu ?

I was talking about the transparency. Transparency comes in when they want to reconcile. So far it it looks like her one foot is still out the door.

I'm sticking to the "It's your choice" and stopped pursuing her?

And that is good.

She told him, I heard it now how hard a$$ do I need to be about it?

We don't have enough details about what happened after the meltdown in the bathroom and the phone call to answer that question. This is why I asked you for those.

She has been around here- nowhere to go.

And that's why she's still there... nowhere else to go... FOR NOW.

I'm asking you...

Why the sudden change of heart?
What has she done to show you a change of heart?

Found out that they did not verify her employment. Which shows it was a premeditated firing.

Her problem.

She did not have a lease house to go to.

Her problem.

She has been using the office to work on resume, job hunting. Just letting her get that part back on track.

Why?
So she can find her feet and carry on walking out of your M?
I thought you wanted to reconcile?

MIL was rushed to hospital on Monday, she is nearing the end of the battle with COPD.

I'm really sorry to hear this OB. The timing really sucks.

I went out Saturday night, had a good time. And lot's of kids stuff. Kinda like an in home seperation. Not doing much together.

And this goes to prove everything I told you. She still wants out. She knows OB is a little old softy... a knight in shining armor... who comes to her rescue no matter what she does or intends to do. A doormat.

Had an interlude one night but I think that was a spill over from emotional Friday. She has hugged me a couple of times but I'm not pursuing anything just watching where it goes.

Stop watching. She is placating you and giving you something to shut you up until she can get all her ducks in a row so that she can walk again.

Do you want to know why I'm saying this? BECAUSE:
1) She is showing NO remorse
2) She is not taking the necessary steps required for reconciliation.

All she did was call the OM to call it off... in front of you. I say... "Nice show, toots... now prove it!" How many times have we seen nice guys get the wool pulled over their eyes with that move. Get their hopes up... sing and dance a jig... and then end up worse off than they were before.

Listen OB, I would like nothing else more than to join the crowd singing. "FINALLY! Another Divorce Busted!! Wooooohoooo." I really, REALLY, REALLY would. But we know that these things don't get turned around like this overnight. I wish they did, but they don't. There is a process to DB'ing and there is a process towards Piecing. I don't think you're anywhere near piecing yet.

Give us more details and if we see the signs we can guide you there.

[OnceBurdened]

Do you want to know why I'm saying this? BECAUSE:
1) She is showing NO remorse
2) She is not taking the necessary steps required for reconciliation.

Friday she showed a lot of remorse, I thought. She was a real mess.

All she did was call the OM to call it off... in front of you. I say... "Nice show, toots... now prove it!"

Not true she asked me not to file or return the signed D papers.

But saying that I do not know if she dropped the case. A point I need to deal with.

And it was not my intentions to stop her from leasing the house - she still has rights by law to be here. That is a little bit of a sticking point. Certainly very hard for her to lease anything unemployed now.

So I guess I've flexed but I don't see it as giving in, or doormatting.

[Gnosis]

OK. Just giving you a heads up and wanted make sure you were aware. Forewarned is forearmed as they say.