The hurting and suffering are things that you can control.
Look at having the kids on Friday as not a problem, but an opportunity.
What is different now versus what would be if you are divorced? About the only things I can think of if you D now is you would be a lot poorer and you would be single so as to date.
You really need to reach a point where you can say to yourself that you did all you did to save your marriage. I dont think you are there yet.
Do you still desire and love your wife?
Kerry-
Ok so I'm still trying to find the magic as to how to control the hurting and suffering because it only gets worse every day.
YES. Absolutely. I very much desire and love my wife.
Ok... so yes. I may not be there yet... but I just don't see any end in sight.
You all have been so helpful and supportive, and I spend so much time here looking at the resources, trying to wrap my head around it all... trying to work on the things that you have all told me to work on.
but I just get worse every day. I am a brutally honest person. I cannot say "cool" when my wife tells me that she wants me to take the kids so that she can "clean" the house. she does not have a job. the kids go to school. then they sleep at 7. she has all day long to get the house in order. to say she wants to drive two hours on friday and me drive two hours on friday (to meet and exchange the kids) so that then she can drive two hours back on friday (total 4 hours)to spend friday night to collect her thoughts... then drive another 4 hours (the full distance)on saturday ("or sunday") to meet me where I am... its ludicrous. I can't say cool to that any more.
I cannot have her tell me that she will sleep on the couch, but then want me to come and spend the night with her at a hospital ball in 3 weeks.
At some point, she needs to make a decision.
I totally hear all of you... I really want to do what you say. but I have lost total faith that anything will be different in two weeks. I feel that I have opened all the doors for her to live in alien land, and I'm not sure I want to keep doing that anymore.
for what it is worth, she said she would drive down here on friday with the kids and would tell me everything she wants in a husband...
I was really ready to head up there tomorrow or the next day to start working on the D.
again. I admire all of you for how strong you can be to get through all of this. But for me it is not just this. it is the kids, the job, the life, the isolation... everything. probably too much for one man to handle for as long as I have.
so I need to make a move...
I did look at flying lessons yesterday. 7,000 all told.... yikes.
