Flushing the toxins from my life

[Awoken]

Thanks CC, I haven't been posting much the past couple days. But your recent post resonated with me, and I've been following mainly just you lately. I wonder if you should have stayed in newcomers? somehow, it feels more private over here.

Your W lost her job on monday? Was she fired, or just a layoff?
That's tough, and I know you have compassion and empathy for her. I bet you have always been supportive and encouraging, while you've been working so hard too. Any slight criticism leads to an unbelievably exaggerated response, right? Support and encouragement have been the safest route, and conflicts have passed without resolution?

I've worked 2-3 jobs for the past 18 years, supporting and encouraging my W while she has tried to "find herself" trying different careers and hobbies. I'm not bitter about this, as I was supporting my kids too. However, there is some irony that my encouragement and support have led my wife to the success in "finding herself", which ultimately led to her decision to leave the family. In other words, I've been hoping for years that my W would get stronger, happier, and healthier, and now that she feels stronger, she is choosing to destroy us. wow, right?

I am sorry about your W's mother. That sounds serious, and I understand your concern about her. That's really a huge thing for you to carry on your conscience, CC. The week for xmas, my W had a big breakdown, and I was a little worried about her safety. There was really nothing I could do; For that night, I broke my own NC rules. Still, you gotta know you are not responsible for her. That's got to be hard, when you love her and have so much invested, and she is the mother of S7.

Good luck at the hearing. You can choose yourself if you are going to be "civil and friendly". Don't react to your W. You know you are doing what is right.

About the IC, yes go. It's definitely helping me. I wish I had gone sooner. I've had had no idea how much I've been effected by my own sitch over the past 18 years, or how I've contributed to it. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. It's a hard thing to face.

by the way, I hope I'm not too heavy handed here. It's a rough week, and I'm not really self-editing at all. I'm pretty tired, and I wish you the best CC.