Quote: That "SOMETIMES" answer we get is them wanting so badly for their life with us to get back to 'normal' but their guilt reminds them that they have a lot of "dues" to pay and they are unsure they can do it. NO ONE wants to be beaten up every day or every other day for their past sins and THEY know that TRUST is something that comes with a HUGE price attached to it, now that they've destroyed it.
The way to get them home is to stop making his coming home the BIG deal. The pressure of that decision is what keeps them from making it. The fear of failing at reconciliation keeps them from making it. BUT they will, once they see that we are at a point that our entire lives together won't revolve around the horrible thing they've done. It's really a BIG chance they take in coming home...they are MORE afraid of failing than WE are. T2
This scares me, what if they can't handle the guilt and pain of coming back and find it easier to just move on? Or will the pain and guilt then follow them into new relationships? I think my H is very scared of having to face all that he's done and everyone that he's hurt in the process. If I relax and make him feel good about his decision in time he'll relax and not be waiting for all hell to break loose again?
