Moving Foward

[Cie la vie]

Kemper,

She also commented once when I confronted her about an EA that they were just friends, he was easy to talk to and she didn't have to work at it.

Classic! My wife told me that she feels happy when she talks to the OM. And as you know I have a tendency to snoop/spy and my W would early on in the A (nov. 09) grab a glass of wine and head out to our garage and kick back on one of our adirondack chairs and talk w/OM for about an hour. Well I sneaked out and ease dropped on one call. I overheard her say "you are so sweet" and "I've been stuck in this relationship" and finally "How did I get so lucky". What a joke. The love drug in full effect.

Detaching only means that you will be ok if the worst case scenario happens. It doesn't mean that you don't care, or don't still love your S. I look at it this way. I WANT to be with my W but I don't NEED my W. If my W never regrets her decision (which I have a hard time even thinking she will now) then I will be ok and my life will move on without her as my W, friend, and confidant.

Based on your meaning of detached I believe I am damn close to having achieved it. I can't see the day where I won't have caring feelings for the W even given all the horse sh1t she has put me through thus far. Add the children to the equation and the idea of saying adios take good care isn't possible.

I can say with confindence if we didn't have children together and given her current behavior and treatment of me I would easily say good bye and never look back. One thing for sure I will make zero effort to contact her on anything non parenting related moving forward.

I'm with you on the anger thing when the W's selfishness negatively impacts the children. It just pisses me off and is unacceptable. And although my children don't yet get that mommy is being selfish when she goes hiking instead of taking them to a b-day party for a classmate daddy knows and grits his teeth.

I ask myself the same questions you have listed and the answer to many of them seem to revolve around the fantasy land fog they find themselves in. I feel strongly that if my W wasn't engaged in an A and had still filed for divorce and than saw the effort I have made to correct the problems she stated for filing in the first place I may not have found this forum.

The OM and the A empowered my W to take that fateful step of filing for D in my opinion.

Will she ever regret her decision?

I think they will and we as you mentioned previously may never get the pleasure of knowing they do.

Stay strong we know there are continued tough times ahead but in the end we will be fine and better men than when this all started.