Trying to move on

[ClingingToHope]

My attorney told me to help W refinance as long as she agrees to the joint physical custody and lower payments. W called and asked if I'd be willing and I said yes as long as we finalized the custody plan and did some kind of limit on the house. She has to buy me out or sell it within three years.

She said that was fine.

Picked up girls. Apparently, D10 and W talked Monday and W told her we were getting a divorce. D10 said that W told her that I always want to be the center of attention and she doesn't feel she can give me that much attention and I need to find someone who can.

W also told D10 she probably will never get married again.

I'm a little torn. I believe I can change and be a husband more attuned to her needs. I believe her when she says she'll probably never get married again. I've thought all along there's no OM. Instead, it's just that W is just so damaged by relationships earlier in her life that she can't open up and fully commit to someone. She'd rather operate in her own little world where she can't be hurt.

I played a big part in this. I felt I could get her out of her shell, but then loose words and thoughtless actions pushed her back into it.

All I can do going forward is get this divorce deal done as quickly as possible and become the person I always should have been. This whole thing has been a huge wakeup call for me.

Will she ever open up to me and give me that chance again. Who knows. I've read and heard stories where something out of the blue changes things. I've also read and heard stories where people care for each other but are just better off apart or alone.

Time will tell.