Personally I think it's really important to let our children talk about the WAS when they want to. Most of them don't really know how to deal with their own feelings and are just testing the water to see if we are strong enough to help them too whilst dealing with our own problems. I think they use 'messages' from the X b/c it's the only way they know how to bring that person into the convo.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15