Don't know where to post this.

[MichelleLT]

If she wants you to be a partner, she has to be your partner. If she doesn't want to be your monogomous W, then you don't do the extra little helpful things you would do for your W. You do things that are for the kids and for you (and taxes are about you).

When her actions show that she wants to really be your partner, then doing those things you only do for your partner is acceptable.

But until she is ready, you must act like you are S and getting D. You must let her deal with the reality she has created.

It won't be pretty, but a person has to hit bottom and really want help before they can grow.

So let her hit bottom.