Along those lines, how tough should I take my stand on saying, 'you want your space, you go rent a place and I'll stay with the kids'? We've already touched on that subject, and her immediate response was, "I'll go get a lawyer. The kids need their mother .... I'm the nurturer ... you can't even comb your daughter's hair!"
At the time of this discussion, I didn't push it because I thought it was a bit pre-mature to start talking lawyers and volleying threats back and forth.
That sounds like a very tricky situation because the children are being put in the middle in the conversation that you are referencing. If you have not been an involved parent to your children, then it could be traumatic for them to be without their mother, even if it's her choice to move out.
Maybe you could tackle it with, "I want to live as a family, with you and our children...let's look at how to create more space for you while we continue to live together".
It sounds like a lot of moves in a short period during a turbulent time. Is the proposed move really in your children's interest? Try to bring the conversations back to that unless she seems dead set on separate residences.
Rethink the word victim. The more you think about yourself as a victim of marriage/financial, etc. problems, the less of your own power you are recognizing. I know how you feel...I am still devastated by my H suddenly moving out and some big financial stresses, etc. But I'm trying not to let myself fall into feeling like a victim.
Let your W see that you are not a victim and show that you can "take care of business" when it comes to sorting out finances and standing your ground with quiet assertiveness.
I wish you strength. Walk carefully and study sandi's post. You are still living together and you have opportunities that I wish I still had.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
