Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Gucci, thanks for advice. I will be keeping a close watch for an A. Let me clarify what I meant about knowing my W is not in an A. I know where she has been, who's she with and where she goes. That's all - can say for now...hope you understand. I do realize however, that I do need to be mindfull that she could at any time change and pursue an A. In the meantime I will not turn a blind eye to this possobility.

Gnosis, what you're saying makes sense. I agree with all of your points especially my reacting and my fear. I will not meet with her in MC for her closure. I believe I am starting to act on the advice of those who have helped me with my sitch on this board. I apologize if it doesn't appear that way. That's why I posted some questions for Sandi so I could get her advice before making any more mistakes.

I read Tridoc's thread and I understand why it looks like my sitch may have some similarities. I will keep my guard up for the A. I'm sorry to see any LBS have to deal with an A.

I appreciate all advice that I have been given and ask everyone to stick with me. I may be a bit slow but I am catching on.

Steve M, I think you nailed it that my W is independent and enjoying it. She is living with her sister and her family. She does almost everything with her sis. Her sis is married with children. My W didn't change her phone number. She changed back to her maiden name on FB only, she still has my last name on everything else. She has my last name as a reference in her FB account.

Last March my W was diagnosed with Diabetes. My W had been obese. The Diabetes scared her to death. Since last March she has lost over 100 lbs. Because she had to. She's also had heart problems because of her weight. My W is extremely self conscious about her appearance. Wanting a strange man around her would be near impossible for her right now. When she was diagnosed with Diabetes I did everything I could to be supportive. Went to the gym with her, went to all of her doctors appts. with her, learned all I could about diabetes, etc. You name it, I did it.

My W and I had many talks together about our future together before she left. I thought she was sincere. We were intimate many times the week before she left. It was like she just changed overnight. I now knw she felt this way for some time. If you read my first post you can see what my W and I went through for the past two years. I lost my business, we both went into bankruptcy, we were involved in litigation from company matters and our home was in foreclosure. All of these financial problems were cause by the loss of my company. Our M was great before all of this. I was so damned depressed for the two years after my company went under that I couldn't even function. It was extremely difficult for both of us. We thought our outside troubles would never end. We are both very nice people and we went through hell for the past two years. Good things happen to bad people.

So here we are now at perhaps the end of our M. I was very angry about what we had to deal with for the past two years. My W saw this and probably figured I wouldn't snap out of it. That's's where I am now, snapping out of it...it was a huge life crisis for both of us.

I guess what I am looking for and why I am here is not to ask why she left but to seek advice on what to do to save my M. I want a lifetime with my W and I willing to work damn hard to get it. I'm not someone who gives up.

So my questuon now is even if she is having or looking for an A, how does that change my ultimate goal to get my W back? Are you saying to give up because I can't do that.