Yes, divorce is nothing short of a nightmare here. So why not file for the separation under "cruel and inhumane treatment" and after one year the Separation Agreement can be used as the grounds for divorce if you choose to file?
It is something like 85 or 90% of divorces in our state are initiated through a Legal Separation to avoid the horrible divorce proceedings.
And really, if you file for Separation using two attnys and use the collaborative law process its not much different than mediation EXCEPT you have an attny looking out for you. A mediator is not looking out for you as they don't rep you.
I want more than anything for this to work out for you in the best way possible. I don't know the stat about 90% going through mediation but its not much different than having 2 attnys other than PROTECTION.
Honestly, I wish I knew nothing about this. I really do. But I do so I am just sharing what I learned.
