Classic depression -- very understandable given your ordeal. Depression's an old friend/nemesis of mine. I got on antidepressants and that gave me the leverage to get out of the deepest pit I've ever known. It wasn't fun -- still isn't, but with God's love and guidance I found new friends and a support group to keep me moving forward.
Take the first step. See your doctor. Then seek out the support of local spiritual ministries. Get on the path to heal your psyche and your soul. You can do it. I know.
