This day started with one of those unplanned down and dirty R talks. I'd been wallowing in resentment and recriminations for days, no, maybe weeks and thought that it was time to 'clear the air'
The whole chat lasted only about 30 minutes, so neither of us needed to take a nap between rounds.
I stated my case: my needs, my resentments. He stated his case: his hesitancy to believe I'd get past this stuff and his guilt and regrets.
We made a pact, sort of, to SAY what's on our minds, OUT LOUD, whether it was, good, bad or indifferent. We've agreed to stop reading each other's minds and instead ask each other 'what's up?'
We both admit to being scared, hesitant and a little reserved, but we both agreed that what we both really want is for this reconciliation to be successful.
My H said, "I want to grow old with you." And for him, that was alot to say, because he's NOT a man prone to endearments. He said it with all the depth of feeling he could muster. He said it not just for my sake, but to hear himself say it out loud too.
So we're gonna do a little redocorating in our life here and see if we can't gussy this place up a bit.
So excuse our occassional dust, cause sometimes you gotta tear down, in order to build back up. T2
