Yeah, I guess. I honestly feel like I've been hit by a truck. I've wanted to call her, but I don't know what I would say that wouldn't be counterproductive. You know the whole DBing thing.
I hate that we could be so intimate, so close, and be back here the next day.
She feels dependent on me. The control thing is financial. We talked last night, and even sitting quietly talking, she said that she didn't feel like she could get up and end the conversation without my - I don't know - acknowledgement. I'm sorry, that's weird. I never asked, needed, wanted, or expected that.
Yeah, I want to say to her, it doesn't have to be like this. We don't have to do this. Please. But I won't.
She told me she loved me all weekend.
She is very emotional, there's a lot going on. I don't know what's coming next. I probably need a break from her too. I just know, now she's coming with the court dates, now she wants the divorce as quickly as possible. I certanly don't feel like the one with control.
She gave me the "you don't know what it's like to be a woman and be dependent on someone else" line. Every since I've known her, she's had this line of thinking. And now she says, she feels so vunerable with me, like I could at any moment "do something".
I'm not a "do something to hurt someone" kind of guy. But, at this point, talking about settlement and seperating our finances, she's taking it that way.
