All I can say, is you go girl! Haha. You are a very strong and inspiring woman! A lot of interesting things going on with H. I think it’s wise to do something a little different this time. You tried the open, loving, caring way last time and it backfired in your face, so maybe this tough love you are giving him is the was to go. He has a lot of growing up to do and needs to figure out what his priorities are going to be. But like you said, you don’t need to be in the middle of this drama while he “tries” to figure it all out. But the most important thing in all this is that you (and you are S) are finding happiness again!
Regarding talking to him on the phone, if you think you can keep it focused and maybe just stick to business (like letting him know what’s going on with S [he’s the “ex”, right]) then keeping the conversation open isn’t a bad idea. Or you could try talking to him and if he starts going a direction you don’t like or don’t want to go right now, just push an end to the call (S needs you or whatever). But if you aren’t ready and it’s most likely going to get tense with your anger coming thru or end in another argument, then you might want to avoid it for now. If you go that route and you really don’t feel comfortable ignoring him (the golden rule), maybe you could just send him a text to let him know you are still dealing with everything and not ready to talk to him yet.
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
