Basically he ended up admitting that he feels uncomfortable with something in our R, goes along with it anyhow, then blows up at me for not "just knowing how he wants/expects me to act."
Admitting that was my first step.(about a year ago) I have come to realize that this is a self-destructive behavior. I had experimented with sharing feelings and talking about R expectations since then, but did it totally wrong. (similar to the picnic for WAS) Just today I think that I reacted differently possibly for the first time. My W started telling me how our S3 normal routine went when coming home from 1/2 daycare. It really bothered me b/c I felt like her child, so I calmly sat down and said "When you tell me x, y, or z I feel . . . She started crying. Reading your post gets me thinking that she has been waiting for me to do that for so long she didn't know what to say.
I say all that to show you proof that people can change. I hope that he continues to do so.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
