No, I'll call. When I am ready. It is something I need to discuss with him, but its not something that is going to need to be taken care of right this minute.
I figure I'll wait a bit, call him, and if he answers I'll talk. If not I am just going to hang up and ignore the next call from him.
Let him see how it feels. I am tired of doing this on his terms. Screw it.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Lol - Oh yes, my motto for the day today "tired of doing this on HIS terms". Time to take control of my life and the situation instead of everything being about him and reacting after the fact. Sick of it. Tired of his crap too. Depressed, my life sucks, poor me, pity, feel bad, blah blah....
Yeah exactly. It's like don't complain to me jackass, you wanted this. Hows it goin' for ya?
Hour and a half later, I called back. No answer. Didn't leave a message. Will ignore next phone call just to mess with his head.
I could do this for the next couple of days.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Good to know I"m not the only one that does this. I was ignoring my H texts last night because quite frankly I was enjoying myself with my son and didn't want that to be ruined with a text or call from him. They came pouring in...please, answer me, hello, then finally last ditch effort it was for the last two months I wake up and wonder will today be the day I take every last pill I can find. Drives me insane he goes to the extremes to get my attention when he's not getting it. There was another time he called "come quick you don't want to regret it, I'm bleeding etc." Unacceptable!
Well it angers me because it is such a sensitive subject and to go there to get attention....minimizes it and the one time I won't or don't take it seriously ...well who knows.
Hell yes! What is that...oh let me leave you but make sure you keep thinking of me all the damned time? I have no intention of coming back, and I plan to make your life miserable because you want me and can't have me. But the minute you start to pull away, I am going to start making you feel bad. Why? Because I can.
Yeah. Not anymore Buddy.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So glad someone else get's it. Can relate. Makes me feel human. He wants to know if we can go to dinner with our son tonight. I haven't responded to him. What the heck is this? Texts me today "Nikki I still love you more than you know"
I mean it's just all over the map....thank goodness I'm not riding the crazy train like I once was. Much better place now.
That's good. I think part of it is being able to control your own emotions. I don't think we always do that, or always can, but I also think, at least for me, that having that mini meltdown last night did me a world of good.
I still love my H. I probably always will. I don't expect that we will get back together. And at this moment, I am really okay about that. I think it is the beginning of acceptance for me, and it feels good. I am sure there will be more tears to shed.
But I also know that I have some control over this situation. I dont always need to be the nice guy. I am allowed to protect my own heart, preserve my own feelings, and tell him to take a long walk off a short pier if I feel the need.
And it is absolutely liberating.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
