Also, your H has expressed an interest in working on your R. That will not happen overnight.
We all know (even him) most R's improve when communication improves. There is nothing wrong with setting a boundary when your H says something rude, hurtful or disrespectful. A healthy boundary will serve you better than a comeback even if he started it.
Fun, laughter, joking and teasing are really fun parts of marriage. How can you live with somebody for 20+ years and not be able to joke. IMO one cannot. There is a time and place for joking and when you are trying to salvage a M it can be tricky to not always feel on the offensive.
Now that your H has expressed interest in working on your M what will you do next? HOW will you do that? I am not asking for an answer, just something to think about.
In life it is very important to know what you want. Once you have decided though it is equally important to have a plan on how to get there.
