Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

Guess a random journalizing:

Hadn't heard from W since early afternoon yesterday. We were bouncing back and forth some rather playful texts, but left work without questioning why I hadn't heard from her and made the long drive home.

And it's that drive that makes my mind just flutter and wander, especially after I pass through 'our' neighborhood and begin the extended 13 mile trip thereafter.

Just got to thinking about the messages on W's phone from OM and if my ass-umption was right or not, why I hadn't heard from her, and what she is up to at the current time.

Anyway, got 'home' and settled in and got to cooking. W finally started calling and texting, but being busy and my mind in a flux, I opted to play distant and just get done what I needed to and in the spirit of things, not be readily available, just texted back I was busy.

Man, does that freak her out. When dinner was done I got caught up on the premier of "24" and then last night's episode, so there went my entire night. And she was texting like crazy "what are you doing" the enitre time. With each text I just felt more automatically inclined to just let her ride it out as sort of a way of saying "now you know what it feels like to not know what you're up to". Didn't mean to do it to be mean, but something told me to just do it. Guess GAL'ing?

I finally did end up calling her when I went to bed to say goodnight and firm up plans to pick her up this morning. Of course she was demanding to know what I had been doing. I said I was busy, dinner, some TV and 'stuff'. Heh, she didn't like the vaugueness too much, but again, I felt the neccessity of mysteriousness with her in light of the fact of her not mentioning her 'interaction' with OM this weekend.

Not too far into the conversation I noted the voice of her girlfriends in the background and asked where she was. "I'm in 'friends' truck in front of my house talking for a few minutes". Eh-heh, same friend she used to sit in front of our house with and fry brain cells all night. Claims she was freaking out because S12 "ransacked her room".

So without getting into that, I said I'd let her go and pick her up in the morning and what time to be ready.

She ended up texting a few more times as dosed off.

This morning, holy moly. I came in her back door as normal and I felt like I was walking into a police station. Everybody is yelling and screaming at each other and it was just chaos. Apparently S12 went through her room and took a digital camera and a pack of cigarettes W just bought were 'missing'. S12 finally volunteered to show W where he put the camera after I started searching his bookbag and jackets. No sign of the cigarettes yet. Then again, W is so disorganized she'll find them a week later and never apologize for it, been there done that.

So calmed everybody down and dropped the boys off for school and proceeded to take W to work.

About half way there and near total silence, my stomache started to burn from he hiding whatever it was with OM on Saturday so I flicked the radio off really grabbing her attention and I said, "alright enough, I can't take this anymore". W said "what?". I said, "is there anything I ought to know about from Saturday?". She play niave about anything for a few minutes. So I cut to the chase and ask, "did you see OM Saturday afternoon?". She admitted to it. Said she was at 'our' house and he needed to take care of the morgage payment on the infernal house they bought, so he pulled up, she "ran it out to him and that was it". I verified this with her several times without revealing my source for any signs of discrepancies and her story was solid each time.

So, I'm going to say my assupmtion is validated, and they only net to handle that. I then addressed my thought on what she was doing sitting in a car all night infront of her house and what I thought she was doing. S11 was very upset about it too. She denies they were "smoking". Says her girlfriends were out shopping and stopped by to take her to the store to get some wine so she could relax after her problems with S12. Again, I verified several times, and her story was pretty consistant.

None the less, my point is getting accross with her and she even said so herself that she can tell I'm running out of patience with her continued involvement of any sort with OM. She sights since it was such a brief encounter she didn't feel it neccessary to say anything in light of how I was feeling on Friday as I had said. I told her point blank, I don't ever want anything in that regard kept from me ever again. She says that although the house isn't done she's putting it up on the market ASAP to sever that tie. When I dropped her off at work, she asked if I'd be intrested to go to her brother's in the same town as this house and stay the weekend. I told her fine, but I'm not going to THAT house, but my truck needs fixed first so maybe not.

So atleast, my points and feelings are getting accross and seeing slow repsonse from her that is beggining to accelerate. She's getting to understand, the longer this drags out, the more I feel like she's playing both sides of the fence, even though she's not, but has to understand and I am slowly backing out of this for my own protection and she needs to get a move on with some reassurances here.

On a side note, had a dream of us getting re-married alst night. First of it's kind. She needs to get to work here.

[dday101798]

One last little side thought fromt his morning and especially after reading of one of our DB brother's hardships after his D.

W knows she has decimated me financially and that has a serious impact on the time frame for this to go to a full blown R of our M and family.

When she was talking about selling that darn house, she was running estimates of what she thinks she will get and what she needs, how much will be left and that we could use it to clean up the remander of our debts.

I ponder if she says this out of remorse for what she's done?

It clearly indicates she couldn't possibly be living a double life of sorts. My debts are significant from the D and thereafter. Heck, everytime it looks like I may get to even on current stuff and ever so slowly pay off those debts, something else dwindles me down further.

then, I re-think of the boys and how they just steam roll her. Even in light of us being together, their attitudes are degrading quickly. This weekend was the first that they were truly horrible with me, but apparently that is how they treat her all the time.

Uggh. Time to get cracking at work and spend some time later at another attempt of finding supplemental income.

[dday101798]

So, something is a brewing.

Got some e-mails yesterday from S11's teachers that he's not turning in major assignments again and with the quarter ending on Friday he's in big trouble. Relayed the messages to W and she said she'd take care of it.

(ex)BIL from downstate and W were at W's last night. When I called her back, she sounded miserable (depressed) and was laying in bed, very untalkative.

This got me to thinking, if we're supposed to be embarking on such a great thing, why is everybody so on edge? Myself, her, the kids esecially? It's all just not making sense. My cousin of course put her two cents in an dsaid I NEED to talk with S11, he has a lot on his mind he confided in her and as promissed, she won't tell me.

I ended up just falling asleep very early trying to sort my head out.

This morning, I called W to let her know I was on my way and she was still depressed sounding, I asked what was wrong, she sighted work issues and 'crazy stuff'. I asked like what since 'crazy stuff' usually related to something with OM. She declined to state sighting I needed to get going, but we would discuss later.

I'm getting the sneaky suspicion that there's a bit more to the story than I'd like to know. The kids are acting out, S11 especially said point blank during his tirade on Saturday after he said he didn't eat the night before and I said "mom said you ate before your school party", he said "why do you listen to her, she lies to you all the time!". Then her friend who 'friended' me on FB always logs off the moment I log on now after the comment I made about "their plans" for last Friday night.

Something is a miss. And it's either her conscience, fear that somebody is about to "ratt her out", or her internal fear of how much do I really know about her current contact with OM. Maybe a combo of all.

I simply can't understand why she'd hide in her room all night last night when her brother drove half a state up to see her because he was bored to tears as she says. Mind you this is the same brother who helped her and OM acquire their house. All I can gather is he made some sort of comment.

When I was at W's house this morning, they (x-BIL and his wife) were 'up'in bed, but didn't say a word to me.

I'm supposed to stay the night tonight, and W and are spending the day together tomorrow. Ought to be interesting.

[Gnosis]

Stop avoiding. Go and speak with S11 ASAP.

[mishka422]

Absolutely...talk to your son....NOW. Something major is going on with him and if it festers any more you are going to have a lot more to deal with than just failing grades.

[WalkingMan]

Dude, i'll have to agree...it's time to talk to your son. It's obviously having an adverse effect on him.

Not to mention that and reconciliation must be based on honesty.

You have to be careful. For example, I found out last week that who I suspected my XW was having an affair with was who she was having an affair with. She lied to me for well over a year, but my gut told me something was not right. Go with your instincts and talk to your son.

[dday101798]

Yeah, I've already made mention in front of W that his "punishment" for not getting his school work done will be the weekend with me, "working". Thing is I never have nor ever will "grill" him for info. If he has something to spill he'll do it on his own, and he's pretty darn close. He was giving W quite the hell of a time the last few days.

As for W, I'm distancing myself emotionally from the situation as quickly as possible. I can tell she senses it and is in freakout mode. She knows I know that something ain't right, and that she knows I know about her interactions with OM. I will have ample time tonight and tomorrow to get to the bottom of this. I'm not leaving that house tomorrow without full knowledge as this is not getting 'swept under the rug' again.

Basically, I am in the frame of mind to say "shame on me" for being fooled again.

But, here's the deal. I think she doing the same exact thing with him now, as she did with me then. She kept trying to bait me along as plan B. So she'd sweet talk me with I want to be with you but I can't type stuff with me and yet be with him in all senses and that's what I'm starting to gather. The only problem is, is that when I was in the predicament, I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole no matter how much I loved her, him, who knows.

[Gnosis]

Dylan, I'm confused... Are you posting here to vent or are you looking for advice?

[dday101798]

'lil bit of both I presume?

[WalkingMan]

Is your xw a people pleaser?

Half my xw's life was lies. Even her new life is a lie. all because she wants to maintain her 'good girl' status with her friends and family and once again they are buying it. No one can know the truth or they are out. She just can't face the reality of what she is or has become. Perhaps your xw follows a similar pattern.