Life has been busy, which keeps my mind off of H most of the time. I always wake up thinking about him, but then the day begins and I try to keep turning it back over to God when my thoughts move towards "what if's" and "if only's". I don't understand H's choices and I think I've finally stopped trying to figure it out. It's out of my hands and all I can do is continue working on being the best me I can be. I frequently think of 25's advice...
become a woman that only a fool would leave!!!
So, I've been staying busy. Spent a half day trying to get our/scratch that - MY chainsaw working to cut some logs in half for firewood. Read my manual, replaced the spark plug, cleaned the air filter, tightened the chain, etc. But I'm still having trouble with the saw so my male friend recommended taking it to a small engine repair place. I seem to have this internal mindset that I need to be able to fix everything, but hey, I gave it a good try and it'll be a lot easier to just have an expert clean it up and I can be done with it.
Took my S18 and his buddy to a CO campus yesterday for a tour, admissions visit, etc. We had fun and I'm trying to just enjoy each of these moments with my kids thoroughly as it won't be long and he'll be off to college, and then my D is just a year behind. We have three varsity games this week and the team is still undefeated. D16 is taking tennis lessons 2x a week and hopefully will make the tennis team next month.
I have great kids. Smart, healthy, staying out of trouble. That sounds like bragging (a little bit!) but really just trying to count my blessings and appreciate the time we have together.
