She talks openly about it because she is verbalizing what she herself is trying to figure out. It's not good or bad it just is. She knows you want to work things out with her, bad new is she sees this as pressure even though you aren't pressuring her. They catch a lot of grief/guilt/pressure from others, like her grandmother, and blame us for that angst.
There is nothing you can do to help her but give her space. She won't figure this out next week, next month or probably not even next year (sorry). Mine also voiced caring for me and that she would always love me even as she contacted a lawyer and divorced me.
The OM is messed up too. My X's OM (now husband) was very insecure and jealous of me. Sometimes I think he still is.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
