Hopeless feelings

[mb28]

H & Realtor just left. Selling the house is not an option in the market; we would end up owning too much money. H was not happy and started asking about foreclosure. I got very stern and told him that both of us have worked too hard to have excellent credit, and that would not only ruin our life, it would affect the kids as well. I really don’t think he will let the house go like that, if he does, I will say that he has gone insane and really has been taken over by an alien.

Again R talk was brought up, I validated and told him I cared for him and wanted him to be happy. I said I was sorry the house thing didn’t turn out, as he wanted. He keeps telling me that I don’t care for him or love him. I am so sick of him saying this to me, so I finally let it out in the nicest way possible. I told him I didn’t appreciate him telling me how I feel, and that I know what I’m feeling not him. I told him I have no control over how you feel or what you do and he has no control over my feelings. He said that I will never change, and that I’m still trying to control him. I validated that, and told him that I am working on that for myself, and not for him. He finally said enough, and left.

I know this isn’t avoiding R talk, as I’m supposed to. Nevertheless, I had enough of him trying to tell me how I feel. I was having very bad anxiety before the realtor got here, so my emotions were there. Either way, I feel good about saying what I said. I’m sick of him making me feel like I have to walk on eggshells when he is around and that I have to watch my every word. I still plan to get back on track with 180 & LRT and really take charge of the NO R talk for a while. I keep failing at that area.