My Dad is from Minnesota. My Mom is from Illinois. Growing up I was given Minnesota stuff from my dad's side of the family, and bears stuff from my mom's. I was a confused child-Bears hat-Vikings jacket etc. It wasn't pretty. Well, as you know the Vikes were a pretty good team in the 70's and I remember watching ALL the games with my Dad. He was a die hard Vikings fan-so, I guess the apple did't fall far from the tree!! I navigated my way to the Purple and Gold and have been toiling ever since!!
Bud Grant is a legend.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Had small interaction with W about S15. She told me he got in trouble at school-back talking a teacher-asked me what to do about it. I merely said that she was the adult there, and that I was sure she could make an assessment, and handle the situation. She did NOT like that. But that was that. Also have e-mail traffic-kept for L.
Talk went towards R/M a little. W states - out of the blue - she is unable to decide what she wants to do. (Wait a minute, didn't YOU file for D?) I told W that since she was unable to make a decision, that I have made mine. I told her I wanted the Divorce. She said I was pressuring her, blah, blah, blah - she hung up.
I mean this from the broken abyss of my heart: I am done. I quit. I will no longer allow myself to wander the aisles of Limboland. THAT store is closed. I've made my decision.
I will continue to work on myself-Lord knows I need to. But as far as my M, I just don't have the energy or desire to pursue an unfulfilling outcome.
It's like a stick of gum. After you chew it awhile, it loses it's flavor, doesn't taste so good, and then you spit it out.
Well, I'm spitting it out.
I have read and re-read many sitch's the last few days-in particular RobX, and Gnosis. What I finally realized is this: The age I am at-half my life is over. I don't want to spend the last half dying. I want to spend it LIVING.
I want to love someone, and be loved. I want to trust again. I want to make love without consequences/expectations. I want to walk around in regular shoes-not the ones that don't crush egg shells that they sell in Limboland. I want to LIVE.
It will continue to be a tough battle -especially in the deep, dark, abyss that is my mind, but I know what I must do.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
It's like a stick of gum. After you chew it awhile, it loses it's flavor, doesn't taste so good, and then you spit it out.
Well, I'm spitting it out.
SD,
You have every right to want and get a divorce, and a fulfilling happy life can await you there. But some of what you just said sounds like Walk Away Spouse logic to me. Marriage isn't a stick of gum. Love becomes a choice when you get married and it's up to both of you to do the work to reap the benefits. Don't forget that your W will always be in your life because she's the mother of your kids.
Again, you have every right to the divorce, but just food for thought. Being with another woman will almost certainly have a new set of challenges which could be easier, the same, or even harder on you.
Age: 28 Wife's Age: 28 Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off) Married: Less than one year Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
You have every right to want and get a divorce, and a fulfilling happy life can await you there. But some of what you just said sounds like Walk Away Spouse logic to me. Marriage isn't a stick of gum. Love becomes a choice when you get married and it's up to both of you to do the work to reap the benefits. Don't forget that your W will always be in your life because she's the mother of your kids.
It's also worthwhile to point out that she's apparently gone from "I can't wait to be divorced from you" to "I don't know what I want."
There could be a number of reasons for this. She could be responding to the going dark and LRT. She could just be between OMs. But this is a huge change in her behavior.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
To clarify: What I mean by the "flavor" is, the state of my M. I'm just tired of chewing something that isn't ever going to become full of "flavor" again. Hence the "spitting out" - I'm done. It has nothing to do with how I feel about M or any future relationships I might have, just my current sitch.
Thanks.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
To clarify: What I mean by the "flavor" is, the state of my M. I'm just tired of chewing something that isn't ever going to become full of "flavor" again.
But we're back to marriage not being the same as a stick of gum.
You marriage can have that "flavor" back. Maybe it will have a different "flavor" that you enjoy just as much.
Relationships have ups and downs. Sometimes you're madly in love, sometimes you're just best friends, but hopefully most of the time you're somewhere in between.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
If you are done then you are done and there is not a thing wrong with that. We all have our limits.
I guess I just wonder (for the sake of conversation) how anybody could possible know what will "never" happen? It may or may not work out and certainly one person can only do so much.
I know you want to feel better and I am so very, very glad if you do. I guess, if I may be so bold, it seems like you are still trying to convince yourself of this.
I said to my C the other day that right now I believe in marriage more than I ever did! That is not to say I believe in my marriage but generally speaking I just understand things better now. Maybe you are at that point as well?
LOL