Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Sandi, just checking in to see if you can help me with my latest developments in my previous post?

I really cannot understand my W at all lately. She can't even talk to me in person or on the phone but tries to be nice and talkative in emails to me lately. It upsets me that she pretends to care about me in one paragraph and then talks about the dividing our things, etc. in another paragraph. Does she not get that I am not happy with this situation and I don't necessarily want to be nice to each other if she no longer wants our M? What is it with this woman?

Since she left three months ago she has taken her name off most of our joint bills and doctor's accounts, forwarded her mail, taken a large sum of money from our joint account, talked with a L, wants to draft a separation agreement, wants a D, wants to go to counseling together for "closure" (more her than for me I'm sure), still has not really told me her reasons for leaving and wanting to end M, and can't (won't) meet me in person or talk to me on the phone, only emails.

Her personal changes since she left three months ago are changed her hair color, cut her hair very short, some new clothes, spending money on spa treatments (massages), new cell phone, new purse, blocked me from her Facebook account (I can't even see that she even has an account anymore), changed back to her maiden name on her Facebook account, and added several new friends from high school to her Facebook (girl and guy friends but mostly girl).

Who in the hell is this woman anymore? I don't even recognize her. I know some might be thinking she is having an A but I know for a fact she is not...can't say how I know but I know. All she does is go to work, go to where she is living now, go to the gym at night and then come home and she was posting to her friends on Facebook at night. What kind of life is that? She did the same basic things for the last several months here at home before she left/separated. She's not out there partying. I swear for the life of me I struggle to make sense of this everyday but I cannot. What has happened to my W? I still cannot figure out why she just walked away and didn't talk to me first or try to work out whatever problems she has with our M.

Ughh!!! This is extremely frustrating!!!

Sandi, my DB coach said to keep things friendly with my W. Said this would help my wife from possibly pushing away further. It's so very difficult to remain friendly when my W doesn't even want to work on M and can't even talk to me face to face without her family or friends there...she's acting very immature. What to do, what to do? Be friendly so as not to make matters worse or show tough love? W tells me that she wants me to take care of my health and wishes me good thoughts, hoped I had a good weekend, etc. Why? This makes no sense to me.

I guess none of this really changes the fact that I want to save our M and will continue to remain isolated from her, GAL, etc. Just frustrating to watch this happen and that my W seems to want to be friendly during this time. Many people I talk to who know about our sitch say that my W tells them we are separated and is very nice about it. It's almost like she thinks she's living in a tv drama. It also bothers me that I don't feel like I can work out at our local gym anymore because she is usually there every night. I was going to work out tonight and saw her car in the parking lot and I left...didn't want to bump into her again like last week.

Anyway, I had a great weekend. Did all of the things I wanted to do. Exercised, walked my dogs, went to church, went party Saturday night to watch football games, read a book, caught up on some sleep...a nice weekend.

Sandi, what do you think?