Keep Your Hands Offa My Mojo

[Kettricken]

Hey, I'm all about getting around the self-abnegation. The awesome thing about the assumption of good will is that you direct it at yourself, too.

So, are you saying that by conceiving of her course of actions in terms of MLC instead of garden-variety BSC, it makes it easier for you to exonerate yourself? Interesting. Why?

I'm of two minds on the self-examination thing. As you point out, it can get reedonkulous, depending on how one practices it. (My theory is that if you blame yourself for everything, you can potentially control everything; make all the necessary changes perfectly = win. Would that it were true.)

Even though the gospel as preached is, "make those changes *for you*" .... in practice, not so much, sometimes. The first question is, not what kind of person does your spouse claim to be looking for, but what kind of person do *you* aspire to be? Since I think most of us aren't living up to our own ideals in some regard due to laziness, fear, or basic obliviousness, yeah, there's still work to do. It's just not so reactive or subject to constantly-moving goalposts.

OTOH, sometimes it does take a nuclear detonation to provoke positive change in the best of us; status quo being powerful juju. It makes a certain amount of sense that, since you're sitting at ground zero anyway, might as well leverage that for self-improvement .....