Just been lurking lately. Trying to figure out where we go from here. Kinda in the 2nd honeymoon phase and I am doing the things that I need to do for me. I have plans to go out one night each week and suggested that she do the same.
Her health issues have crept back into the sitch again. She has had a migraine Sat and Sun and not feeling well today. This is a big source of resentment for me. I am trying to not let effect how I have been feeling. I have to become more understanding but currently lack the insight into my issues regarding her health. This goes back to the year that she had to stop working and go on disability due to fibro and chronic pain. During that year she showed no emotion and I turned into the role of a caretaker. Without the emotion we grew apart and that is where I can't go again.
I am currently trying to find a SBT in my area. I am calling one and I am going to interview her. If I think that she is a good fit for us then my wife has agreed to interview her too. This is a good step b/c she has previously said that she won't do anymore counseling. (we have been twice before and have done Retro)
I don't know that I am asking for advice or just trying to write down my feelings and thoughts. I am afraid to dialogue with her about this topic b/c this is where I have let her down and I can't do that again to her.
I don't want the resentment to build. This all happened so fast. I still want to work on me. How can I work on me and the M at the same time? I haven't been doing this a month yet and feel totally inept at piecing.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
