Next steps

[avermont]

Thanks NM and RW--

I know I can be cool thru it. And I do see it as a chance to show off my sassy self.

And don't worry, NM--I didn't ask any questions last time except in response to what he was telling me. I don't really want to know s&**t about his life.

But NM brought up a good point--it gives him an opportunity to bring up "what to do about the house". And I want to avoid that subject.

I am practicing saying: "I asked for a year before we make any big decisions about the house. And that year starts in August, when you told me of your plans, not in May when you privately decided to make changes in our lives."

But now I am also thinking--what's to talk about the bills? They're paid. He can check the joint checking account on line at any time.

So I haven't responded yet. Now I am twisting myself into knots with:
"If I don't contact him, am I reacting to him because I feel like I don't want to see him?"
"If I were truly making progress on detachment, wouldn't it not matter if I saw him or not?"
" I could ask for help with pulling together the house $ info for taxes--this would be the sort of gentle 180 of not being so independent that I was looking for all those months ago."

So--as usual--back to my usual ??? state.

Advice appreciated!