UPDATE: i've been listening, reading and listening some more to all the great folks here. Also talking to a DB coach!
OK... but make sure it doesn't go in one ear and out the other...
Originally Posted By: rob668
Wife told a mutual Close friend (who Really cares for us both) that she Has strong feelings for this person in south america.
Again, I swear, it isn't me... On a serious note, take that as the gospel truth. This person is VERY real in her mind. Her feelings for him are also very real.
Originally Posted By: rob668
BTW , she has NO intention of moving there AND he has NO Visa or means to come here.
That visa can be taken care of by her... if she's divorced. So your strategy right now is to drag out the D process for as long as you can.
Originally Posted By: rob668
ANYHOW, our mutual friend said wife also told her she loves me very much but wants to move out.
The coach has suggested I really DO a 180 and SHOW my anger and disgust, slam the door, leave the house for a while ...etc.
Follow the Coach's advice. Up to now you've been behaving like a wimp. Man up.
Originally Posted By: rob668
The DB Coach also thinks (knowing my sitch and personality) that if and when my wife brings up her moving out , I say "ok, there's the door" sort of thing and act as if i don't really care.
Preempt this and show her the door and reality ASAP. Why are you waiting for her to get her ducks in a row? Why are you waiting for her to stash some cash and walk when she is good and ready? Are you nuts? Waiting is enabling her to do as she pleases, when she pleases and if she pleases.
Originally Posted By: rob668
THIS all seems doable but Very Hard!!
I hear you, but do you hear the advice you've been given? Your W has ZERO RESPECT for you. If you were a woman would YOU want you?
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
