H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

You have to take some time each day for you. Even if just 5 min. or you will start to go crazy! Even if it is something super simple like planting a few herbs in your kitchen to grow in a sunny window then finding new recipes to use them in. What do you like to do?

My personality type is INFP, so all the things I like to do involve big stretches of time, which I have little of . I do a lot of great things with my children of course. For non-child activities, I like hiking, running, yoga, reading novels, dinner parties, dancing, and everything interior design. I'm not ready to do any exercise other than walking due to my lungs right now. And I don't think that I'm ready for a lot of socializing -- I feel too fragile. What I really wish I could do is take a trip to the desert and just walk and walk (but can't afford it). I have been taking time for myself to do some home decluttering/organizing projects and to watch DVDs after the children go to bed (haven't done that in years) and I've done some short walks. I'm not sure what I could do in short periods of time that would be really nourishing, other than starting to meditate regularly (which I've always intended to do but never have).

And the more you mentally cling to your H (even if you are not acting that way) the harder it will be.

I bet you are scared and overwhelmed and I so get that. We are here for you but please do consider taking some focus off him.

Thanks for the feedback. I've been in caretaking/walking on eggshells mode with H for so long that it's become a habit. I can see that I'm going to have to work very hard on my thinking and putting the focus on myself and it helps to have support for that.