So when she got home, I gathered up the kids and took them to a partners house. She was wondering what was up, but I think she knew. When I got home she told me that she had just been on the phone with her attorney. Attorney??Apparently she had an appointment with one tomorrow: A mediator ..... signs all over the office. “ The peaceful easy divorce” F*#k that $hit. No divorce is peaceful.
I sat her down and told her to grab a diet coke. I told her everything that RobX said and she told me that it was illegal for me to kick her out. She refused to leave. She made an appointment with the attorney that moment and I went along to meet her. I can’t kick her out legally at this moment.
She hired this woman, but I could tell that she was thinking the same thing that I was. You guys haven’t had counseling?
I sat there and told her the whole story. My W is destroying two families. I told her this. She wants what is best for the kids. I told her what is best for the kids. She sits there and tells me this is what is best. I told her “if the shoe was on the other foot I probably would be telling you the same thing”. Get real!
My wife wants me to go down peacefully. I’m not doing it. I’m hiring a bulldog. If this is what she wants I’m going to crush her and her little fantasy.
Currently, I can’t stand to look at her. She is the scum of the earth. I can’t see how she can make this peaceful for the kids and us with this behavior. What kind of message does this send?
So legally, I can’t kick her out. What do I do now!!!
Let her be and don't pursue her, following her and arguing with her is just going to show her that you care and right now you need to do the opposite, drop the rope, detach and don't do anything. In fact go totally dark, no communication with her whatsoever. If she brings up "what's best for the kids" at all, calmly remind her that flying off to phoenix for the weekend to hookup with the OM was not "in the best interests of the kids", a fact along with many others that you will provide to all the legal parties involved and then just walk away.
Seriously, no arguing, cooler/calmer heads always prevail, in fact make it like this is what you want and then continue on the original plan that was laid out for you, that's what got a rise out of her, that's what got her to pull you out in the hallway and discuss what you should & shouldn't be doing with regards to other women, remember the feelings you had when you found out when she was with the OM, you can give her a dose of her own medicine and she can be the judge on whether or not it tastes good.
You're good, in fact you're better than good, you're great. Don't fight for the marriage, don't pursue her, no gift giving, no talking about reconciling and making a great marriage - you just start doing your own thing and give her a taste of the real life, one that doesn't involve assistance from you and I know you don't need me to remind you but continue being the greatest dad on the planet to your kids, regardless of what your wife does, you control your actions and you will continue to be a great father always - this attitude has served me well to this day.
You have a backbone now, don't forget it, it will serve you well also.
