We had a coversation today - she mentioned going to Disneyland again. I said there's a long road between here and there... we're talking about family therapy, now my job to set it up.
As long as OM is in the picture, then I don't think there should be any discussion of Disneyland or any other kind of trip. Consequences.
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It was hard to leave tonight, and she was a little more distant - though she went from saying "can you leave after the boys go to bed, I need some time to myself" to asking me to stay and watch TV with her.
You sound like you have the classic distancer-pursuit relationship. You pursuit her and she distances herself, when she thought you gave up the pursuit, then she was interested. If you are interested in making your M work, and I emphasize if, then you need to work on no pursuit. Leave before she asks you. That's classic DB technique. You shouldn't be rushing into anything anyway at this point. Slow and steady.
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Anyway, it seems that the moments that I send her the terse emails, put up the walls, are the moments that spook her.
My thoughts on this are first of all, well of course you're going to put up walls after all the crap she's thrown at you. Only common sense. She needs to earn your trust back if you're interested in keeping your M intact. I think you should give up the terse emails though.
