Gardner I believe you are right about her giving me a bit of a map.She just called me to tell me about her day and then she initiated a conversation about some of the things that happened. I listened to her and validated her feelings. I did not get into the blame game all I did was validate her. I think it threw her for a loop. She then proceeded to let me give her the love languages quiz and after reading the book I was dead on. Sad thing is she already knew my main one. Got the secondary ones wrong though but it still shows how much more than me she has tried. After that we discussed some other things in which I did not act overly enthusiastic about the conversation but I was given the chance to vocalize that I understood where she was coming from on some things and apologized. I did not say watch me change I just admitted my wrong without pointing hers out. Then she told me of her struggles in the day and I was able to begin to use one of her primary love languages which encouraging and supportive words of affirmation. SHe then told me thank you. I have not had THAT kind of reciprocation in months. Lately it has been her saying you should have seen this sooner. She then said these are all good things I see a difference. She has said she will call me tonight to talk more or if I do not hear from her to please call.
I know this isn't a lot but I am really excited because she expressed for the first time that she feels I am understanding things. She also said she sees a change in me and that lets her know it isn't for her. I have never been able to get this far with my changes before sad I know. Now I just have to be scripted and have myself together because usually after theses times where things open a little she either gets real cold, real mean, or runs to the internet EA to keep herself from accepting that anything can change or that she may want to work this out. I have got to find the money for a phone coach FAST.
Need all the encouragement and advice you guys have right now. What do you think of this?
