Boundaries

[Ready2Change]

SHE SAID YES!!!!! Her relpy:

I talked to S10 and he would really like to go on this trip. I will let him go this last time but tell your dad to stop signing him up for things during my time. Also, don't ever threaten me with the kids again by telling me that you're going to "limit my time"!

(I am aware that W signed up S10 for basketball, so this is the leadin to the next boundary)

My Response:

Hi W,

Thanks for doing this for S10. It means a lot to him.

I completely understand your frustration when the kids get signed up for things during your parenting time without your consent. It makes me sad when the kids get put in the middle of our issues. I worry about how it will affect them long term. I know for certain that other important events will occur during the other parents time in the future. If we want to keep the kids out of our issues, we will get the other parents consent before giving the children any decisions. As long as your parents and mine understand this, and as long as we are both flexible when exceptions occur, I don't see too many future issues.

So I just received an Email that W has signed S10 up for basketball with out my consent here is my draft response. All input welcomed:

Hi W,

I thought we just had a discussion about signing our kids up for events during the other parents time.

I am concerned about S10'S performance in school. S10 and I have discussed the posibility of loosing his privalage to play sports if his performance in school does not improve. When you sign our kids up for events during my parenting time without discussing it with me, I feel just as frustrated as you do if someone signs them up for events during your time. I am sad that you feel it is OK to do this. Before I sign the kids up for anything that requires your involvement, I run it past you. I expect the same repect from you. I have decided this will be the last time I will support your unilateral decisions. In the future, I want you to run everything past me that affects my parenting time.