Moving Foward

[Cie la vie]

K,

The best I can come up with is that she is "in love" and is hooked on that "drug".

Did W express to you that she was "in love"? I never got that from mine but I never really tried to extract info from her and although I have been a bit of snoop when it comes to her cell phone I still feel the less I know the better I am. I just remember when I uncovered the A and a few days later discovered she had made plans to fly out to see the OM (after telling me she was going to a spa with a GF), I told her this was harsh and wrong and she just said plain and simple "I'm going, I'm going". Man I was just blown away by the complete lack of empathy. I never brought the OM or A up again, that was back in early Nov.

I would love to think that my W with snap out of the fog and regret her decision/actions. However, I can't hold onto that hope anymore.

Nor can I, it is self torture and counter productive. Trying not to think that way, however, is a lot easier said than done.

It may hit many walk away spouses like a ton of bricks, but do they have so much pride that we would never know?

I think the answer to that may have a lot to do with how the LBS handles the sitch as it unfolds. If the LBS trys to constantly guilt the WAS and tell them they are making a big mistake they may inadvertantly set the table for the awakened WAS to stay away rather than face the "I told you so" attitude of the LBS. Another good reason to simply take the high road.

I can hope that my W has a change of heart, BUT I am not going to sit idly by waiting for that either. It doesn't do me any good and it sure doesn't do my boys any good either.

Completely agree. No sense in waiting on something that at least for me seems highly unlikely and the kids will have enough to struggle with as it is.

The whole detaching thing is a bit nebulous to me, at times I feel I am there only to have bouts of despair bubble back up to remind me that I'm really not. As time passes the bubbling episodes seem to be further and further apart. I can only hope that trend continues.