Luv, Here is a 2X4, but there are a bunch of us here that would have given our left arm to hear what your WAS said. I know you are hurting and still in pain, but it appears to me there is a start. Does this all match with your plan? What other boundaries or transparency do you need to see?
I hear you guys but please - my hurt feelings are not clouding my judgement. I'm just stating that I'm confused because of his "back and forth."
I know last night he said he wanted to work on the marriage but at the same time he was giving me signs that he is still confused - so there is my doubt.
I will take what you said into consideration and I will try and remain positive for my own good.
His work blackberry - I told him this morning I've had it with all that checking on the weekend stuff (cuz he never did it before) I said you don't take my feelings into consideration - he said, "yes I do."
He just came into the bathroom when I was showering - hasn't done that in a while. We have glass doors so I was covering up a little - he opened the door to peek in and I said, "hey"....
Ok guys - he just came over to me right now (i'm on the couch with my laptop next to my daughter) he said, "why don't you invite your friend over?" I said, "no way..so you can bash me in front of her" - sorry I had to! He said, she thought I was rude to you? I gave him the example - remember when you said to me, "i don't care and the sooner you get that through your head the better off you'll be." I said, "she thought that was awful how you talked to me." He said, "she said that?" yeah...
He looked at me and said, "T we are on the same page you just don't know it." I said what do you mean by that? He said we just are.
He is being a little nicer today but still has some sarcasm - made a statement in the bedroom "you don't think I'm a good catch?" I said, "not anymore...you used to be." He said, "hey that's not fair I always tell people what a good mom and housewife you are."
Anyway - there it is guys - please don't think I'm not listening - I AM!!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Maybe he is confused about HOW to work in the marriage?
I think sometimes (myself included!) when you just don't know what to say or do you either turn to humor or sarcasm. I am not saying that is healthy but sometimes people just think a joke or a smart ass remark will sort of ease some tension.
This will be a slow process and I think that is okay. When you lose a parent it is very odd (and of course sad) because you sort of realize you are the adult now. Not that you were not an adult before but the person (parent) that was always the adult there is not. I am not articulating this well.
His work blackberry - I told him this morning I've had it with all that checking on the weekend stuff (cuz he never did it before) I said you don't take my feelings into consideration - he said, "yes I do."
So, clarify for me ... you have forbidden him from checking his blackberry on the weekends?
Originally Posted By: luvless
He is being a little nicer today but still has some sarcasm - made a statement in the bedroom "you don't think I'm a good catch?" I said, "not anymore...you used to be."
Yeah, I can't imagine why he might be confused. Who wouldn't want to fully commit to an awesome wife who said that?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
you can't constantly knock someone down without getting it back
this is where you will lose your M.
is that what you are wanting? I wasn't thinking so.
your H has it right, you guys are on the same page. your doing the same things to each other.
Look, YOU are the one who is with us, YOU are the one who has the control, and YOU are the one who can get your M back.
are you willing to do it? Are you not seeing the huge signs that God just gave you???
you just told Gno those 3 things you needed, and your h GAVE THEM TO YOU THE NEXT DAY!!! OMG!
are you hurting? well duh, everyone on here is, but this is in your lap. If you don't let go of your resentment, then your not going to succeed, and that makes me so very sad. I want you to feel what I feel. I want you to get past all this and have a wonderful M. Is that what you want? Do you want it for your kids? Then you have to bite your tongue and get to work.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
