Sorry got kicked of the internet in the middle of posting.
I'm Fine but the relationship is stagnate. Not sure where to proceed to at the moment. She says that things are much better between us and that she is much more connected to me than she has been in a long time but she does not have "those" feelings for me. I asked her if she meant that she "loved me but was not in love with me still" and she said yes.
I asked her if she thought that she could get "those" feelings back and she said at the moment no. She told me that she is trying but they are not there. I told her that if she is waiting for that newness spark to occur that its not going to happen that we have been together for a long time and have been though a lot. She said that I just don’t think it should be this hard. So I said that maybe we should think about a trial separation and me moving out for a while.
She did not take that very well. She asked my why I wanted to do that? I told her I did not want to do that, I do not want to leave my kids nor everything I have worked for but I feel sometimes that my being here puts added pressure on you and that its hard for me to be around you and be this emotionally connected to you and yet not be able to express it in a physical way such as kissing, hugging, snuggling and of course sex.
I asked her why she does not want me to leave, why do you want me here? She said that I enjoy your company and your friendship. I thanked her for saying that.
There was more said but it all boils down to this, is my being there or me leaving the right choice for me at the moment. As I look back on it all its been a long three years for me and I can see pro’s and con’s for both arguments. I am too close to the situation and maybe time away is good however time apart could really hurt all that we have gained in the last year.
I talked to Ken this weekend and his points are very valid that whatever I do it must be without expectations for an end result and must be what is best for me. I’m not sure what to do just that what we are doing is making us good friends but not a married couple.
That’s my story.
How you doing WT. The weather is much nicer this week and spring is just a couple of months away.
Thanks for asking, not sure you wanted to hear all that.
