Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

All - thanks for the encouragement. W is back. Got back in late about 1 in the morning based on the flight arrival and having to take people home. Everything you said about mild mannered, nice, rudeness etc is spot-on.

So - how'd it go last night. OK. She was friendly not warm or cold. I was positive, friendly not sure about upbeat cause I was tired. She TM a few times letting me know she was in and dropping people people at their houses.

She told me a fair number of details about the trip, I told her about some of the stuff that had happened here. She did not notice my new shirt nor the cologne (she didn't get close enough to notice). No physical touches at all, no hug, no touch, not even a brush against me as I walked by. She unpacked, I stayed away while she unpacked.

This morning, more of the same. Kind of feels like we are back to where we were prior to the suicide. She did say to me that "we have to do our workout today" so that I guess is somewhat of a positive because I think it can help draw her closer. I might be wrong.

She did notice this morning that I was wearing a new sweatshirt around the house...and she asked when did you get that...and I answered oh the other day.

I have not snooped as I still struggle if I should go the snoop route, the outshine route, and just wait for her to get too comfortable and really mess up. Not sure what is the best method on this one. It is an EA with an out of town OM. I did see as she pulled out a handful of powercords one that was obviously a car charger to the pay as you go phone. I am tempted to snag it and throw it away, but probably won't.

If she was as busy as she claimed, there wouldn't have been a ton of time to talk to OM, but there certainly would have been some time. Who knows.

I suspect today will be a pretty routine day of doing stuff together with the kids and getting ready for the week. I did make steps towards not cake eating. Normally I probably would have started the laundry for her...not today. I made sure all of our laundry was done and then she actually started doing hers from the trip and I will not jump in and do it for her.