What can I do to save my marriage? Help

[Ready2Change]

YOU WILL NOT GUESS WHO CALLED ME TODAY!!!!! THE OM WIFE!!!!!
She found out where I worked and had me paged. I had a long conversation with her. My W has another phone and they had a tryst this weekend as I suspected. The OM wife has kicked him out of the house. She found out this weekend. He planned on a golf trip in Phoenix and forgot his clubs the back of the truck. She found his cell records. She caught him lying.

A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so good right now. It wasn’t me after all. She is the demon in all of this!!!

What do I need to do now and how do I confront her with this? I don’t want to kick her out. I might just pretend that I don’t know.

He has 3 kids around my kids age. His wife is devastated. He says that he is in love with her. They have a long history together and were highschool sweethearts. First love. He got her pregnant in HS and they had to get an abortion..... Sheesh.

I NEED HELP FROM ALL OF YOU NOW.

Well it's a good thing a few of us never told you that this was happening ;-)

"I told you so" just doesn't seem to cut it.

And yes I'm busting your balls, you didn't listen and went on your own path preaching trust and unconditional love when you are in no situation with your wife to be preaching any of this, all it did was make you look like a big dummy to your wife and I'm being an a$$ to you on purpose, because I want you to feel this.

So you're asking what to do now.

Someone mentioned "gather hard evidence",
the evidence is here already, no more gathering needed.

If you want my advice, this is what you should do:

Take a day off work.
Pack a few of her bags,
get some of her stuff in boxes
put her dirty laundry in some garbage bags.
Do this when she's not home, add to the mystery of the situation, she likes to do things behind your back, you'll return the favor.

Wait for her to come home and you tell her "WE NEED TO TALK.", be firm about it too but not an a$$. Make sure the kids aren't in the room, maybe have someone pick them up or just make sure they're not within hearing distance of this.

Ask her to sit down, you can remain standing if you want.

You tell her, "I know what happened this weekend, I know about the OM, I know about your affair with him and I've had it with you. I get it, you don't want to be with me anymore and you know what, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't choose to be with me, life is too short and I have WAY TOO MANY options instead of waiting around for you to wake up from your funk. I want you to be with him, I hope you will be happy with him. I spoke to his wife and she's on the same page as well and she just kicked him out and I figured you should join him - I'VE DECIDED I WANT YOU TO BE WITH HIM. We'll work out a custody arrangement when you get yourself a place to stay but for tonight I want you out of the house, you can spend the night at the hotel with him, you spent the weekend with him at one, you might as well continue this and don't worry about the kids, they'll be fine, you didn't worry about them this past weekend while you were doing what you did. You had your chance with me to work on our marriage and you blew it and I'VE DECIDED IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LET YOU GO AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE, I CAN'T WASTE IT ON YOU ANYMORE."

And that's it.

You walk away,
you bring her stuff that you packed to the door,
you open the door for her and ask her to leave.

Seriously tri,
you have to stand up to her in a real way,
I told you before that there was no way you had cut through the WAW fog that easily with one family trip, she is in it deep and you have to let her go for the time being, and you have to proceed with the plans we setup originally and that includes dating other women and let her deal with the fear of loss & the crisis of the situation she helped create. You see fantasy is great up until the point it meets reality, and then it sucks because they will have no fantasy, no hiding around, no sneaking about, they can't lie to you anymore because you won't tolerate it. You have to show her that you value yourself more than you value her.

Above all else,
DO NOT ARGUE WITH HER!!!
I don't care what points she brings up,
how she tries to turn this around as being your fault, it doesn't matter, it's all WAW talk and it doesn't matter, they will lie through their teeth and tell you whatever they need to tell you to get what they want. Just look at her as if she is the most unattractive person you have ever looked at and walk away in disgust. DO NOT ARGUE WITH HER!!! If you have to, take the kids out for dinner or something and leave the home, just tell her you want her gone by the time you get back.

JUST DO IT.

This is amazing advise. DO WHAT WORKS!!!!!