Doc,
Sorry. Isn't it is a relief to know you are not jealous and losing your mind! Amen! I have read all the advise you have gotten in a really short period of time.

My question is this: Doc, what do you want? My advise is this: You are in no place to definitivly answer this quetion right now. You must be in a very emotional state. This is trauma, you maybe shocky.Do not make an emotional decision, those will f**k you up real fast. Take your time, make your decisions. You have time. You are in control. BUT...

Now that you know the truth, you owe it to yourself to act. You do not have to tolerate the A while you make your decisions. You must try to stop the bleeding. My advise would be to immediately confront your wife with the truth and set a simple, clear boundry with real consequences. (You know your wife better than anyone, you know what consequences she will believe that you will enforce.)Aside from the usual advise for this talk, I would add the following:
1. ASK NO QUESTIONS (You know everything you need to know and this leads to an argument)
2. ANSWER NONE (You don't owe any explainations at this point and this leads to an argument)
3. STAY PLANTED WHILE SHE GIVES YOU [censored](You are gonna take alot of [censored]. This is going to be all your fault)
4. CALMLY REITERATE YOUR BOUNDRY. Do not elaborate, do not explain it. Simply state it, restate it and state it again. You are a combination of Ghandi, John Wayne and muthaf**kin James Bond. You have ice in your viens, you are fearless, and you ain't takin no [censored] off nobody, no matter what.
5. Walk away

Ultimately, you may decide that you no longer wish to be in this marriage. That, I submit, is a decision for another day. In the mean time you can assert a boundry with real consequences. You may, once the dust settles, change your mind and assert a different boundry, such as, "F>>k you, Get out" But now, you have a free hand. Don't let you emotions make your choices for you and any decision you make now, will be an emotional one.

Again, sorry Doc. I am here.


Then, while your wife is on her heals you have some time to make your decisions.