Back here, for the second time... #69

[Kalni]

It's been my second time here. Last time "I moved out" and back to separated when I realised H was holding back and wasnt 100% there with me. This time he is. This time I am the one struggling cause I dont know how to handle his A, the past and how to forgive and let go.

I saw a MC today. We will see her Thursday. There are not many experience MCs here, the reason I liked her was that she was positive and said "you seem to have good basis for a happy M, good for you not to quit when you found out he was cheating, cheating can be the end of a M, it can also mean a chance/opportunity to start over and put things in the right order with the goal to build a better relationship".

She said she is not experienced but that she will do everything possible in her powers to help us "piece".H agreed immediately to try her.

I am feeling exhausted and discouraged. I wish I was a goldfish and could forget the past. I dont know why it hit me so hard the last couple of weeks. Maybe because I feel vulnerable again. Maybe because I realise, our M will always have a huge scar... The "love of my life" is just another weak man.

Anyway, dont want to sound bad, it's my piecing thread and I need to be positive. I promise I will work on that.
K

[mishka422]

FIRST!!!!!! I'll take a Bailey's and Coffee please. I'm cold today.

You started the path.....keep your feet on it Maria. I really have a lot of hope for you and H.

The "love of my life" is just another weak man.

We are all weak Maria, you know that, but it's how you choose to grow that makes you strong!

[dday101798]

our M will always have a huge scar... The "love of my life" is just another weak man.

Scars remind us of where we've been, but they don't dictate where we are going.

[goldeylox]

Dang! I missed being first. Oh well, it's a little early to be drinking just yet.
Hugs, sweetie, and more hugs.
OK, send over a Lemon Drop this afternoon. A stiff one.
Since I'm laying around nursing my foot, I'm spending time this week preparing to file, maybe next week. Bleck.
Can you get out today (perhaps w/ a girlfriend) and go for a walk? love, Goldey

[TrentC]

Kalni,

I wish I knew what to say to help you through this.

I think it's great that he wants to work on the relationship. There are a lot of people who would love to be where you are now.

It will take time to heal. It will take time to rebuild that trust. He is weak, but so are we all. Set your boundaries, and give him encouragement and support.

Someone told me that the relationship I had with my wife is over; we will never have that level of innocent, almost childlike, trust again. But that doesn't mean that we can't learn to trust each other, and now we can see the weak spots in our R and learn how to strengthen them.

Hopefully you can do the same.

[BobbiJo]

So glad to see you over here! Keep choosing to look for the positives:

*He is moving things back into your home

*He wants to go to the MC

*You said yourself he is "in" this time, and you should know since you could tell he wasn't all there last time

Too early to go shopping for spring shoes?


You still don't have 100 threads, you know... There's plenty of time to get things back on track and build.

[dday101798]

Someone told me that the relationship I had with my wife is over; we will never have that level of innocent, almost childlike, trust again. But that doesn't mean that we can't learn to trust each other, and now we can see the weak spots in our R and learn how to strengthen them.

Exactamundo!!!!!!!!!

This is the best summation I've heard in a while.

[Kalni]

Problem is... I WANT that childlike innocence BACK damn it!!!

[dday101798]

It will come, not overnight and not without challange, but it will come.

[dburt]

A scar is definitely better than an open wound, and nothing is tougher.

Burt