One day at a time....

[pearlharbr]

Beating a dead horse....get and read the books! I think the reason that BF handles my triggers so well is because he learned from an outside source that it's going to take a loooong time for me to get past this and if he wants it to work it's his job to reassure me as much as I need.

I forget, are you seeing a MC in addition to both of you in IC or is it just IC for now? If you are seeing MC, then that's something I would bring up there and ask for tools to use during these convos.

FWIW, I completely understand why you would be triggered by that bc I would be too! In fact, we have not been bowling since the sitch started bc BF was in the work league with OW and would always go out with her afterwards. And I get nervous if he wants to go out with coworkers for happy hour after work for the same reasons. He has done that a couple times, but each time filled me with dread and he didn't see it as a big deal.

I think some things we'll have to learn to deal with and some things they'll have to give up because it's just too fraught with emotion.