What can I do to save my marriage? Help

[Kettricken]

I fail to see what business it is of OM's wife what you choose to do in *your* marriage. Her opinion is irrelevant, not to mention heavily biased.

This totally sucks for you, nobody deserves being cheated to, lied to, and manipulated like you have been. That said, I think you need an attitude check. First it's all you, you were cold and unavailable, and now you need to practice unconditional love because you're the one who sent the marriage onto the rocks. Now, you have proof of adultery, and all of a sudden it's all her, her, her and you're the righteous angel? Neither stance seems like a reflection of how real people actually work.

A foolish consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but *no* consistency is just intensely frustrating to others in your life, and makes you appear untrustworthy and dangerous as a partner. That will be true in every relationship. Start now.