He's not at the bottom yet. He's scraping the bottom, but he's got to hit bottom. He still has a place to live and still receives a paycheck. Until everything, I mean everything is gone, only then will he hit bottom and realize it's all gone. He's fighting it and I have to say he's a stubborn one. BTW, he's not going to admit just yet that the ow is out of the picture. Give it time...he'll start to drop hints that she's out of the picture. Right now, he's not sure what you'll say to him about her.
Yes, there will come a time when you can tell him you are there if he should need anything, but it's not now. He is still out there exploring the world and isn't ready to tell "mom" that he's failed. He's got to put the best face on so that you won't say "I told you so". In time, that will change as well.
At this time, you will need to allow him to come to you, contact you. When he contacts you, talk to him as you would a friend. He can still sense in the tone of your voice how you feel and his radar is working quite well and will signal the tension in your voice, etc.
If you ever want a better relationship w/him, not matter what happens, you will need to dig deeper for more patience. It's a very long process and right now, he's mourning the loss of the ow and it's going to be a long time before he sees the light of day. Patience is difficult to practice when they are popping in periodically, but each and every poster will learn that you must have this in order to be "friends" or have a "civil" relationship w/them while they are spiraling.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
