I'm not an expert - only know what I've learned here - but I'm wondering if you actually need any more proof that that the OM's W called AND SHE has the proof. And I think you keep that very close to the vest, too.
So borrowing from Puppy: "W, I know that you are having an A with OM (use his name). You have a choice - you can either cut off all contact with him right now w/ complete tranparency to my satisfaction and go to MC to work on the M... OR ... you can take the next 7 days to find a place to live and move out."
If she denies, again borrowing from the Pupster "W, we both know that you are lying. It's insulting to me for you to deny what we both know and it makes you look even smaller and unattractive to me." (or something like that)
If she admits it but falls apart and begs you to forgive her, stand your ground about what it will take for YOU TO WORK ON THE M! Tranparency. She has to cough up the go-phone. Remember how she was leaving her legit phone out to APPEAR open. You've learned something about her, right????? Make her own this and earn you!
Doc ~ it's either one or the other. She is a very manipulative girl and my bet is she will try to twist this into a soft landing for herself. Do not allow this. If you want to recover your M, you have to be tough with her HERE.
Oh and once she finds out OM is kicked out - that's going to be a big blow up and she may blame you. You know not to take that bait. Don't debate it with her. You know and she knows what's what. And another thing - that OM is probably on his knees right now begging W to take him back. From what I've read here, OM tend not to want the reality either. His fantasy is coming to a screeching halt, too.
Keep us posted! Be smart. Be strong. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
