OW broke up with XH, now what??

[Augtan]

Thanks snodderly!

But, how much more rock bottom can a person hit...lost his wife, his kids, his house, his money, his OW (I have a better term for her), he is living with another man in a rental house?? He has no family but us, the friends he has are all just like him, the kids have 3 minute talks on the phone with him and really could careless about him (D10 does, but he still isn't great to her).

I focus on me and my children 95% of the time, especially since we live 700 miles away it is easier to do this. I just have moments where I just wonder about things and why he won't be my friend at least. I wish he would tell me or the kids that they broke up so he could actually hear how I am really going to react. Then, maybe he would see that I am not going to throw it all in his face and he might trust me just a little more.

Is there ever a point where I could tell him I know and just say "I'm still here for you if you need anything". I can't say "I'm sorry that happened" cause I'm not! I really don't want to hear about it and he won't tell me, but just so he can hear what my reaction will be.

I just want a starting point, even if we never get back together, I would like to have a better relationship with him. He has had several moments of clarity, and I think they will come more frequently now that OW is gone. I think he has had many with all that happened in such a short period of time. But, I know he doesn't think I can just let the whole OW thing go. I know if he was back to being the real him, not this alien, then I could. I would bite my toungue off before I threw it all in his face, cause that would do no good at all!

I am just going to stay dark with little to no contact. I just don't know when is the right time to make a small move toward him. He has been in MLC for over 3 years now! Just a few weeks ago he lost the rest of what he had, now everything is gone!

A